Mmmmm, Mindfulness!

I went to a workshop on mindfulness yesterday.  I think most people are afraid of things like this; they think they're weird.  I understand that, but really it's just simple relaxation.

And now that I'm a working mom - well I've always been a working mom, but now I'm basically full-time outside the house as well as inside - I could really use some more relaxation in my life.

It didn't start out well, of course.

The sessions were already running late, and I was running to the bathroom before the workshop began, but bathrooms on two successive floors were closed to cleaning so I had to run to a third floor!

And then I couldn't find the room.

So I was late and flustered.  When I finally found the room and barged in, I found everyone completely quiet with eyes closed, doing the first mindfulness session.  Of course I dropped my purse and a few things fell out with a crash, and I completely disrupted the whole zen thing going on.  (Sorry about that, fellow workshop participants.)

Anyway, I was definitely in the mood for some calm.  I ignored the dirty looks (that wasn't very mindful by the way!) and got ready to participate.  I was happy when we did another session at the end.

I had my eyes closed and I was focusing on my breathing.  I think I was doing pretty well.  But then I said to myself, panicking:  "OMG!  I forgot to turn off the ringer on my new cell phone.  I don't even know how to turn it off!  I can't possibly disrupt a session again!  They'll kick me out of mindfulness.  How will THAT look??"

And it's not really practicing self-kindness when you're kicking yourself and telling yourself what an idiot you are for not being technologically literate enough to know how to turn your !@#$% phone off.

Anyway, you can see that I need to work on this mindfulness thing a little bit.

When we were being quiet and trying to be aware of what was going on in our bodies, I realized that my face was practically vibrating with stress.  Just sitting there calmly for several minutes without any expectations, just focusing on being in the moment nonjudgmentally and without trying to list your groceries or all the things you need to get done that day - it was so nice.

The great thing is that even if you get distracted, you're not supposed to judge yourself.  You're just supposed to matter-of-factly bring yourself back to being aware of your breathing.  The leader of the workshop said that most people's minds are full of racing thoughts and that we are usually just carried away by them all the time.  That's me.

She said we need to practice 'kind patience' to ourselves.  Isn't that a great phrase?  I think we could all use more kind patience.

Mindfulness is really just taking time each day to calm yourself down.  It could be going for a nature walk or run.  It could be listening to a song that relaxes you.

You don't have to wear bells or tie-dyed shirts or chant while you're doing it.  It's just breathing.   Aahhhhh.