Separation Anxiety: Or 'Clingy Like Saran Wrap'

My daughter is three and a half and she is extremely clingy right now.  I call her 'Saran Wrap' (lovingly).  She cries whenever I leave, even if I've been with her all day and I'm just going out for a run.

I knew it was getting bad when I tried to take a shower the other day, and she began crying.  Tearfully, she told me that she didn't want me to take a shower because she loved me.  I said, "Honey, I love you too, but I'm just taking a shower.  I am, in case you haven't noticed, still RIGHT HERE.  I'm not leaving the house; I'm just going behind this curtain!  It's not like REALLY LEAVING!"

She got into the shower with me.

I'm not really sure how to handle this, because I haven't had to deal with it for my two older boys.  And my daughter is extremely loving and nurturing and sensitive (not like anyone I know) and I don't want to hurt her.

Also, I know the boys went through so many phases and I'm thinking if I can just hang on, this will be another phase that will pass.

I have come to realize that (as my good friend said when I discussed the best way to leave her when she's crying): "It's like a band aid - the quicker you take it off, the quicker it stops hurting."

However, I also think about when she will be sixteen and how she might (sob) hate me and be embarrassed by me and never want to be seen with me, and then I feel like saying, "That's okay, I'll hold you while I make dinner.  I don't mind at all!  You want to hold my hand the entire day?  GOOD!  Let's do it!" 

You've got to get it while you can, right?

They Love Each Other....They Really Love Each Other!

We've just arrived home from a two-week camping trip in Cape Breton.  We drove down with the three kids.  A bigger update will follow but for now I'll just present one moment of the touching brotherly love my boys demonstrated toward each other during the trip.  The boys were getting on each other's nerves so I was trying to redirect by encouraging them to play a game.  They started playing 'Who Am I', where one thinks of a movie or book character and the other person has to guess who it is by asking questions.  My older son said, "I have someone in mind!  Who am I?"

My other son, still annoyed, crossed his arms and asked sourly, "Are you a dumbo stinkypants?"

Awww.

Triathlon - Tried It! 2011 Binbrook 'Give It a Tri' with Multisport Canada

I did my first mini triathlon at Binbrook Conservation Area.  It was a 400 m swim, 10K bike ride, and 2.5 K run.

On the day of, I was feeling nervous as I always do before races, and I had a moment in which I was wondering whose decision it was to do this anyway, and what had I been thinking, etc.  I did a 25K race in May and the triathlon was in June, and I felt like I'd been in training for a long time.  I like training - you could say I love it, actually - but there were things about the triathlon that were worrying me.  I was afraid I would fall off my bike, because of the crush of people around me.  I wasn't sure how the transitions would go.  I was wondering how crowded it would be in the lake as well.  Initially I wasn't sure what to wear, because many people wear wetsuits, but there are different kinds, and I didn't know whether to rent one or buy one.  I only had a mountain bike so I had to borrow a road bike and then tune it up but it still wasn't very good, so that was another issue.  I kept thinking longingly of how for running, I just needed shoes!  Although of course that's not really true either, because you can have trail shoes and road shoes, and the right socks and shirts, and things for the winter....the list goes on.  But when three sports are involved, the gear factor rises exponentially!

I did the tri with two friends.  It was the first time for all of us.

The coolest part was how they drew my number on my upper arm.  They also drew my age on my leg, but they put a happy face in the 0 of 40 so it was okay. 

I went right at the back for my wave start.  It was harder than I thought it would be to swim, because the water was choppy and every time I tried to do the front crawl I would touch someone's legs or feet in front of me so I had to stop and just do the breast stroke.  (I heard that two people had to be pulled out into a boat.  I don't know if they were panicking or tired or what.)  Maybe I shouldn't have been at the very back.  By the third leg of the swim the pack had cleared out and I could do the front crawl without running into anyone.  I was surprised when I looked up and saw how close the beach was; I put down my foot and I could touch sand so I just ran out.  But I was breathing very heavily, especially running up the beach to the transition area.

I had been worried about the rules, because you're supposed to have your helmet on before you unrack your bike, and you can't ride your bike in the transition area, you have to walk it out.  And of course I hadn't known any of these rules beforehand, and not all are just common sense that you would figure out on your own.

I put on my shoe at first before my shorts, but otherwise the first transition went well.  I hadn't worn a wetsuit and I was glad I didn't have to fiddle with it, and the water wasn't cold.  It took me over 2 minutes though, because I put on socks and had to tie up my shoes, whereas some people only used seconds to transition.  (My second transition time was only 44 seconds or something, because I just racked the bike and kept going.)

Even though my bike wasn't that great, I enjoyed the ride because there wasn't a big pack of people around me as I had feared.  It was pretty smooth sailing and we biked through some nice countryside so it was good.

We all realized how important a good bike is for the race.  My one friend got the prize for the worst bike.  She had borrowed her mom's.  Not that you could tell, or anything.  It had a bell and a red flag on it and was really heavy.  One guy was riding a mountain bike and lots of people were passing him.  My bike was better than that, but it still wasn't that great.  The gears were terrible and kept slipping out.  Several people passed me on the bike.  But when I saw someone pass me who was older than me, (because I could read the numbers on their legs) I cheered them on.  Honestly, I thought it was so great that women who were 44 and 48 were passing me.  I thought, "Go, over 40 women, go!"

Then for the run.  That's my strength and I felt pretty good, although tired and thirsty.  I was happy with my time as I did the 2.5 K in 12 minutes. 

The funniest part was the guy who refused to wear his swim cap, rode his bike in the transition area, refused to wear his helmet, and then swore at an official.  He was disqualified.  Thanks for coming out, sportsmanlike person!

It was a well-organized race, and I would recommend it.  We got a nice run shirt and a goodie bag, and free chocolate milk for recovery after the race, plus fruit and bagels. 

And after all my worrying, it went well.  Nothing bad happened.  I came in 5th out of my age group!  My goal had just been to enjoy myself, and I did.  And now that I've done it once, it would be so much easier to do it again.  People told me triathlons were addictive but I didn't think it would happen to me....except now I'm looking around for another one!

Stop It, Mommy!

Once you're a mom, it's hard to turn off that mom voice.  Even when you wish you could.  Even when you can tell that you're annoying your child, but you just can't stop!  Heck, sometimes I'm annoying MYSELF, and I still can't turn it off.

I know I can't keep my children in bubbles, and I know they need to make mistakes in order to learn.  So why is it so hard to let them do it, then?

I think it's because we're also supposed to protect our children; that's our job too.  And I love my children so much that it's hard to see them hurt themselves or fail something.

They're young yet, as well.  I hope the 'letting go' will happen more when they're teenagers....because I need several years to practice!

My oldest son (eight) was at a track meet, and I was there to watch him.  I kept bugging him about drinking enough fluids so he wouldn't get dehydrated, and he kept brushing me off (rolling his eyes and walking away).  But I was persistent, unfortunately for him.

I followed him around, holding out his juice box.  "How about some apple juice?"  I suggested brightly.  "What about water?  Hmmm?  Some nice cold water?"

I suppose the key would be pretending that I didn't care at all, but by then it was too late for that.

"You need to drink enough fluids...." my voice trailed off feebly as my son literally ran away from me.

Later on I noticed that he and his friends were lying on their backs, having a chugging contest with their water bottles.  They were each trying to drink the entire water bottle all at once; that was the game.

You'd think I would be happy that he was finally drinking something.  Sadly, no.

I rushed over and in front of all his friends I said, "Colin!  You shouldn't do that.  You're about to run and you don't want to run with tons of water sloshing around in your tummy."

Again, the rolling of eyes and the sigh.  Poor kid.  I can't help myself!  I'm going to have to learn how to bite my lip and keep my mouth shut.

The other day my mom was admonishing my 32 year old brother about wearing sunscreen, and he rolled his eyes as well, just like my son.  I guess some things never change. 

As I was leaving the track meet, without thinking I yelled in earshot of all his friends, "Bye Honey! I LOVE YOU!"  

Oops.

Sulphur Springs 25K Trail Run 2011 - Done!

I did it!  Yesterday I ran the Sulphur Springs 25K trail race.  The only other 25K I have done was last year's Run For the Toad (see earlier post).  It was raining for that race, and the conditions were extremely muddy.  The only thing I wanted for this year's Sulphur Springs was that it not be muddy.  Well - so much for that.  With all the rain we've been having and the cold weather, there were some very muddy parts.  It looked like the race organizers had tried to help by putting some gravel down in certain patches, but they couldn't cover all of the patches.  At least it didn't rain hard during the run - it was more of a light mist to start off with, which eventually disappeared.  The mist actually felt very good as I ran.  And it wasn't as muddy as the Toad, because there were lots of long sections which were perfectly fine to run.  But there were some long patches where the mud was so deep you were afraid you would lose your shoe to it, and then the mud would build up on the bottom of your shoes and you would be skating instead of running.  I saw one guy slide backward at least three feet and then fall on one hill.

Anyway, at the beginning of the race I came up with a slogan for the day: 'Embrace the Mud'.  So that's what I tried to do.  I just ran right through it.

Initially I was worried I wouldn't even be able to run the race, because my shins had started getting sore about 10 days prior, and they seemed to keep getting worse.  I was resting them from running, but I was still doing other things like boot camp.  Anyway, luckily my MMA and runner friend showed me how to tape up my calves and told me to get some Tiger Balm, and that felt so good - I highly recommend it.  The tape really helped and I ran the whole race feeling great.  My goal was not to get a fast time (which, okay, I probably couldn't get even if I wanted to - I'm not there yet!), but just to finish the race and not be injured afterward.  I like the idea of crossing the finish line feeling good and strong and still smiling.  I wanted to feel good and be able to dance at Lobsterfest that night and that's what happened.  I finished in 3:19 hrs.

I have some great memories from the race.  At the beginning of the race, the whole forest was very quiet except for the sound of runners breathing and the different noises our feet made when we would go from running on the hard-packed trail, to the mud, and then on to the gravel.

All the rain had made the forest very lush and green, and there was dark green moss and light green ferns everywhere, and huge blankets of blue and pink flowers around all the trees that were beautiful.

The mist made it feel like I was running through a rainforest, and it darkened all the bark on the tree trunks and etched out the lines on the green dripping leaves.

I really like how runners are so kind to each other; many of them yell to others as they pass: "Good job," or "Well done!"

We met one man who said he had run the trail previously as a blind runner but had just received a bionic eye and could see the trail well for the first time.  He said the trail was beautiful.  He was almost 70!

I met another man who was beside me as we ran/walked up Martin Road hill.  He puffed, "We're almost done.  We'll feel normal again in a week!"

I said nonchalantly, "Oh, a week - is that all? Pffft!"

The best remark came from another woman (who I can only assume was a mother) as we huffed and puffed, sweaty and muddy, up an incline.  She muttered, "There's got to be a better way to get some time for ourselves!"

I mean, some women go shopping.  And I guess some would compare the thrill of achievement of finding a great pair of shoes on sale to a 25K.  But although everyone can buy a pair of shoes, not everyone can run a 25K.

So I'll take my second 25K.  It was a great race!

Driving Me Crazy

This summer we're going on a road trip for two weeks with our three children to Cape Breton.  I'm really looking forward to it.  But I have done a couple of road trips with children in which I swore vehemently to myself as I was banging my head against the car door that I would never, ever, ever do that again.  However, the kids are older now.  And I told my husband that it would be fine to do it, as long as we install a three-screened DVD along with a Wii, a PlayStation, and an X-box in the van.  And a convenience store.  Just a small request.

But I remember what it was like when we drove our five month old son to Florida.

As we set off, my husband said cheerfully, "Okay, let's try to get several good hours of driving in before we stop!"  Ten minutes later, we heard a loud explosion from our son.  My husband's eyes met mine pleadingly in the rear view mirror.  Sympathetically, I shook my head.  "Sorry, hon, we have to stop - he pooped through everything, including his overcoat!  It's all up his back!"

By Hour 10 my son had thoroughly inspected, chewed on, rattled and waved around almost every toy and book I had packed, even the completely new, never before seen Last Resort Toy.  I sang songs until my throat was hoarse.  By Hour 12 I was fantasizing about forcing my husband to drive to an airport, so Colin and I could fly the rest of the way.

It got to the point that we began arguing over who got to drive, since the other person had to entertain Colin.

"Honey, it's my turn to drive.  You must be exhausted!"  I announced to my husband firmly, feigning concern for his well-being.

He shook his head.  "No, that's okay...I've still got lots of energy,"  my husband insisted, although he'd been driving for four hours.  He gripped the steering wheel tighter.  "Really, I insist."

I gave up being diplomatic.  "I'm driving and that's FINAL!  Pull over, mister!"

With my husband in the backseat, Colin began wailing. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands,"  my husband sang optimistically.  Colin wailed louder.  The clapping trailed off.  I resisted the urge to giggle.  Now it was my turn to grip the steering wheel and surreptitiously turn up the radio.  As I avoided mammoth trucks and aggressive tailgaters, I sighed to myself.  What a nice break!

When it was my turn to entertain my son again (after a brief but spirited tussle over the car keys in the parking lot of a McDonald's) we had completely run out of diversions and Colin had decided he wanted out of the car seat NOW.  I began desperately searching the car for new items.  Water bottle, Kleenex, extra diaper, extra clothing...  Colin looked at me when the last Kleenex had been ripped apart.  He knew I didn't have any more distractions.  He began opening his mouth to yell.  I looked frantically around the car.  Aha - there was one thing left in the car that he hadn't played with yet.  Frantically I bellowed, "GIVE ME THE MAP!"

My husband paled.  He looked over his shoulder at me nervously.  "But honey...we NEED the map."

I scowled at him in the rear-view mirror.  "We can buy another!  Do you think my sanity is worth more than a map?  Don't answer that!  Give. Me. The. Map!"

My husband took a deep breath, began to say something, noticed the frenzied look in my eyes, and then silently and reluctantly handed it back to me.  There was a brief tug of war before I seized it triumphantly and deposited it in my son's lap.  I breathed a sigh of relief as Colin began happily whipping the map around, banging his fist on it and ripping it.  I leaned back in my seat.  Whew!

"You show that map who's boss, honey!"  I encouraged him.  "And when it comes back, you show it who's boss again!"

Anyway, the road trip this time will be much better, I'm sure...I'll buy several sets of maps!

Turning Forty - It's All Good

Today is the big day.  I'm officially 40!  And the sky has not fallen.  Everything appears normal.  In fact, I feel good!  Maybe not James Brown good, but still good.  Great, even!

We just had a party last Friday night, and I had a great time.  We danced until 2 a.m.; I had so much fun.  And I felt fine the next day, too, which was a relief - I mean, completely expected.

My son asked why my friends had left their cars parked in front of our house.  "Ummmm.....they're being environmentally friendly?"

I thought 39 was going to be the hardest, and it was.  Maybe that seems funny, but to me that was when I realized I was at the end of my thirties, that this was the last year of them and that was it.  And I got used to that, and now I'm ready to face my forties.  Head on, or at least with the help of a little red wine!

I think it helps that I'm very happy with my life right now.  I'm very happy with my family and my house, and I like my job.  Also I'm probably the fittest I've been.....ever.  I'm going to run another 25K soon and I'm training for a try a tri - a mini triathlon.  I feel like I've got some good momentum going.

As you get older you get more comfortable with yourself.  You accept who you are and you don't care as much what other people think.  Next year all of my children will be in school.  I have a little more independence and I can do things like staying up until 2 a.m., dancing and having fun with my friends.

At one point my husband asked me anxiously, "It's okay if I play hockey on your birthday, right?  The game isn't until 11:15 p.m. so you'll be in bed then anyway...right?" 

I looked him right in the eye.  "At 11:15 p.m. on my birthday, I might be curled in a ball, lying in a corner sobbing for all you know!" I informed him frostily.  My husband looked terrified.  I should say that my husband is three years younger than me, darn him.  Anyway, it's okay.  I will not be that person sobbing in the corner.  I'm content.  Bring on my forties!  Let the adventure begin!