Friday, December 30, 2011

Chocolate and Other Distractions

This time of year it's very hard to maintain weight loss/health.  I was doing so well in the lead-up to Christmas.  At my work, right at the beginning of December, it started.  There would be boxes of chocolates, shortbread cookies, candies, and so on left in the kitchen.  Every time I walked into the kitchen to get a coffee or tea, I would have to walk by these tempting treats.  I had to literally avoid looking at them and fix my eyes intently on the kettle, as if I was in a tunnel.  My will power only goes so far.  I'm pretty good if it's not around, but when it's right there it's much harder to refuse it. 

Instead of picturing the chocolate 'saying' such things as 'come and get me, I'm such a yummy, melt-in-your-mouth treat', I pictured it holding up a sign that says, 'do you want to gain 5 pounds?'  That worked well.  Obviously I have bigger problems since I'm picturing chocolate talking at all, but I think women everywhere will know what I mean.

Anyway, I managed to avoid the treats all the way up until Christmas.  At that point, with a tradition of Bailey's in my coffee Christmas morning, and other desserts, I said I would give myself one day of eating whatever I wanted.

One day stretched into three days, sadly. 

I even asked my husband not to buy me any chocolate/high calorie stocking stuffers.  And he didn't buy me much.  But the kids had tons of chocolate and candy, and it was lying around all over the house, and I ate more than I planned.

One good thing is that I have maintained my exercise.  I've been running and skipping and doing weights and other exercises.

But I'm going to have to up the ante.  Now I'm picturing the chocolate saying, 'do you want to gain 5 pounds, lose your fitness level and stop all your healthy momentum and feel guilty and mad at yourself in the process'?

That should help.  There's nothing like a good guilt trip to make you feel better and get you on track!  Oh, and right now I'm going for a run.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Happy Holidays!

I love this video.  It shows a year in the life of a tree, with all the different seasons.

'Holiday Hell Moment'

There was just an article in the paper talking about this man whose wife had had a 'holiday hell moment'.  It didn't specify exactly what the wife did.  The husband was so devastated he had to go to his friends' home to recuperate.  The article was talking about how to avoid those moments, so the poor spouses wouldn't have to deal with them.

Let's step back a moment, here.  I mean, I'm not condoning that anyone have a holiday hell moment.  It doesn't sound very festive.  But I think we should ask the question about why the wife was having a holiday hell moment at all.

Is it possible that she is the one who is responsible for doing all the shopping for gifts for a long list of people?  That she has to shoulder all the baking, wrapping, decorating and cooking?  Card-writing and package-sending?  And the one that strikes fear into the heart of anyone with small children - holiday home cleaning?

I'm sure there are husbands out there who do some of these things, but can we generally agree that mostly it falls on the woman?

How festive can you be when you have so much stress??

Maybe more husbands should be asking their wives how they can help, and making tea and giving foot rubs.  Maybe THAT would prevent a holiday hell moment.  (Did I say tea?  I meant red wine!)

Friday, December 16, 2011

Yes, Mrs. Librarian, It Was The Kids!

I love the library.  I'll go even farther.  I think it's the greatest thing ever!  You can borrow books, and other things, for free.  It's amazing.  I don't know how I would satisfy my book addiction without it. 

However, I was starting to cringe whenever I heard the automated 'voice' of the library on my phone.  It had graduated to, "You have some items that are very, very overdue."  Not just very, but very very.

I couldn't find the books anywhere.  I had looked high and low.  I had taken every single book off each child's bookcase.  And that took me forever.  We must have almost two hundred children's books altogether, I swear.  (Hmmm.  Maybe I should be using the library more often!)

But this is the thing.  I get all these great books from the library, for me and the kids, and then they just disappear.  I even have a 'designated library book place' for them, away from the kids' rooms, so they don't just fall into some big black hole.  Apparently my four year old daughter disagrees that we need a designated library book place, because they never stay there.

I finally went to the library and threw myself on its mercy.  I told the librarian that I would just have to pay for the two very very overdue books, because I couldn't find them anywhere.  She looked at me as if I was a small child.

I started babbling nervously about how I have three children.  I thought that would have been self-explanatory.  But no.  I don't think she has children.  I mean, what am I saying?  Of course she doesn't!  Otherwise she would understand, right?  She looked at me skeptically.  "One of the books is an adult book," she said frostily.

I looked at her, aghast.  "I have three children who all like to move books around!"  I protested.  "They don't care what kind of book it is!"

Doesn't every child do this?  My children all seem to take particular delight in picking up random items in the household and depositing them in a completely random place.  This happens all the time.  Is it just me?

I've found library books behind couches before.  Why not?  Let's read BEHIND the couch.  Reading ON the couch is so yesterday.  I've found toys in tupperware cupboards and measuring cups in closets.  There is no rhyme or reason!

Anyway, then I went back home and I again tore the house apart, determined to find the books. 

Yes, I found them.  Stuffed into the drawer of an old secretary that we never open and where I most certainly would never have put library books.

That's was the kids. 

Maybe from now on we'll just read the books AT the library and not bring them home at all.  It will be much less stressful.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I Have A Life...Don't I?

I just received an email from the Chapters irewards program saying they had some book recommendations picked personally for me. 

I was so excited!  To say I love books is like saying the Pope is Catholic - it goes without saying.  It's a fact.

I'm a voracious reader.  When I don't have anything to read, in desperation I will read the backs of cereal boxes and - when it's an extremely serious situation - I'll read the sports section.  When my husband sees this, he'll mutter, 'uh oh' and veer away from me because he knows I'm irritable because I don't have any reading material.

So I was excited by the email.  I thought happily about all the good recommendations about best sellers or award winning books I was about to discover.

I opened the email to find they had recommended three books.  Strangely enough, they were all pre-readers.  That's right, children's books.  All three.  Mercer Mayer, people.

And hey, I have nothing against Mercer Mayer.  I used to enjoy his books very much.  When I was three years old!

The books were chosen based on my recent purchases.

Do you suppose my life revolves around my children too much?  Hmmmm.  The last movie I saw was 'Puss in Boots'.

Clearly I need to get out more!  I need to buy adult books and watch adult movies.  I mean...grown up movies.  Movies that adults like.  You know what I mean!

Listen, irewards people.  I have a life!  I think.