Sunday, January 29, 2012

Those Crazy Gummy Bears!

My daughter was watching the 'I Am A Gummy Bear' song on Youtube.  Her brothers had introduced it to her. 

I would think most parents have heard it by now.  It's a catchy little song and the gummy bear dances and kids love to watch it.  At one point the gummy bear does something that is a bit questionable, and my daughter said to me, 'That's inappropriate, isn't it, Mommy?'  (Let's call it 'booty shaking'.  And I for one do not have children who EVER do this.  Not once.  I barely understand the meaning of the term.)

She learned the word 'inappropriate' very early.  I'm just speculating, of course, but this may, again, have had something to do with her big brothers who seem to take particular delight in anything deemed inappropriate in any way, shape or form.  Anyway, I told her that she was right. 

She paused to think, and then said thoughtfully, "I guess that gummy bear doesn't have a mommy or daddy then!"

It was nice of her to equate someone being inappropriate with not having parents, but if that's true, then...I am in big trouble!  (Did you hear that, boys?)

Friday, January 27, 2012

Do I Look Like A Paper Towel To You?

 Is it just my kids who do this?  My children will go to hug me, but really they are wiping their mouths or noses on me.  It's yummy.

I will think they're being so sweet and then I will realize they're just using me as a big Handi-Wipe.

It was bad enough when they were babies, and my shoulder constantly had dribbles of milk on it.  (Sometimes it was on the front of my shirt too, which was very attractive.)

I thought it would get better.

Now, they also wipe their sticky hands on my clothes and my arms.  I really appreciate this, let me tell you.  As I scrub off chocolate or a variety of food residue, I feel all warm and fuzzy.  And adding to the enormous pile of laundry I always have just makes me feel - oh, I don't know - content.

I'm glad they feel comfortable with me and everything, but a line has to be drawn.  Boundaries must be established!  I love them all dearly, but how hard is it to grab a napkin?

Another thing I never thought I would say as a parent: 'Do I look like a paper towel to you?'

Friday, January 20, 2012

No One Said It Would Be Easy ('No One Said It Would Be So Hard' - thank you, Coldplay)

"It's lucky for you that I have more things to do in the morning than you do,"  my son remarked casually, after complaining that he has to feed our cat.

I fell over in shock.  At least, I think I fell over, but I was in too much shock to be certain.

I guess this is where the egocentricity thing comes in with children.  I opened my mouth but it took awhile for the words to march out, because they were in shock too.

I finally stammered, "You get up, eat the breakfast I make for you, put on the clothes I have washed for you and set out for you, pack the lunch I have made for you and the agenda I have signed for you, which may or may not contain cheques I have signed for the school as well as forms I have had to fill out."  And that's only for one hour in the morning!  And you're only one of my children!

It's too bad that as humans we have to make the same mistakes over and over.  I know that's how we learn.

But I'm having the same arguments and issues with my children that I remember my parents having with me.  The 'Who left the apple core on the table?'  The 'How can you walk by the stuff to go up the stairs?'  The 'Stop leaving your laundry on the floor!'  (Oh, sorry, that's my husband.) 

Full disclosure: I leave my laundry on the floor too.  I've decided that if I can't beat them I'll join them.  Works great for the whole house atmosphere thing, but that's another post.

And it's funny, because as I'm telling my children all these things I'm also forgiving them, because I remember I did it too and I didn't mean anything by it; I was still just focused on having fun and learning and I didn't mean to annoy my parents.  But as parents we still have to teach our children.  We don't want them to grow up and be uncivilized.

I'd like my childrens' partners to appreciate their manners at some point.

Some days I am not entirely certain that will ever happen.  But I keep trying.  That's all we can do, right? 

And you hold onto those small moments.  Like the other night when I had washed all the makeup off my face and I just had my nightie on, and my son looked at me and said, "Mom, you look beautiful."

Thank you, honey.  I needed that.  (His partner will LOVE me!)

But We're Driving The Same Bus!

I hate to talk about Katy Perry and Russell Brand, but someone needs to say something about Hollywood marriages.  It's getting ridiculous, isn't it?  I can't even bring myself to mention the 'K' issues but you all know what I mean.

I remember a few months back, when rumours of problems between Katy and Russell led him to say that they had sworn to love each other forever and that they weren't just going to give up.  Well, that lasted a few more months.

Why is staying together so hard?  Is it the old 'familiarity breeds contempt' thing?

I read about a well-known rock band that travelled extensively together.  The one player said that he began to hate the sight of the other player eating his Cheerios, so they had to get separate tour buses.

Does the way he eat Cheerios count as an irreconcilable difference?

I mean, if players in a rock band start getting annoyed at these little things, how much harder is it in a marriage?  And you can't take separate buses.  We're driving the same bus, no matter what.

I guess this is why they invented 'girls' nights out'; to get a little space.  Sometimes, you just need to get off the bus.  Have some fun and let your hair down.  And then you can get right back on, happier and ready to overlook the Cheerios.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

When Did I Become Decrepit? Oh, And Happy New Year 2012!

It's a New Year.  After I woke up after the Eve party and apologized to my liver, I thought about the year 2012.

I don't really believe in making resolutions.  I'm not anti-resolution, or anything.  But it seems to me it should be a whole lifestyle thing, right?  Also, we can't make resolutions about being perfect because that is an impossible goal and therefore self-defeating and will set everyone up to be depressed anyway, which can't be good.

(That was cheerful!  Way to start off the year.)

I have realized, though, that there are a few things I am going to strive for.

To back up a little, we had a babysitter the other night.  She just turned twelve, and yet she has a Blackberry and a laptop.  I don't own either of these things.

It made me feel  old and decrepit.  And out of touch.  Did I mention 'technophobe'?  I think that about covers it.

Does it count that I did own a laptop (used) for about one week before my daughter vomited directly onto the keyboard from about two inches away and which never turned on again after that (can't really blame it)?  I don't think so.

Clearly I need to get into the 21rst century. 

I do have a cellphone, but it's the kind I have to crank it up to use (joking, but it's pretty old and extremely basic).

The point is, having the year change has made me feel older.  That's surprising, isn't it.  It's funny how that works.

Yesterday I was telling my oldest son (nine) that I was going to teach him how to cook, and he paused and considered it.  "Okay", he sighed finally, "I guess I have SOME free time to do that."

'Some' free time?  He's rolling in free time!  He has nothing BUT free time.  His WHOLE LIFE has been a joyride of complete and utter I-make-all-his-dinners-and-do-his-laundry-and-buy-everything-he-needs F.R.E.E. T.I.M.E!

Not to be melodramatic about it.

Maybe I need to get out more this year.  So I'm going to strive for some more quality moments out with family and friends; experiences instead of stuff, as they say.  I plan to enjoy good music, food and wine during even better moments.  I'll continue my focus on health and running; that goes without saying.

Oh, and I've got my eye on a Kobo.