Worst. Parent. Ever.

I hate to admit it.  But I, after nine years of trying to protect my son from nuts due to his anaphylactic allergy to nuts, I gave him a chocolate with a nut in it.

It was an accident, of course.

I was rushing through the grocery store (I'm not kidding, I was literally running through the aisles) as we were on our way to a party and I had to get a few things.  I also picked up some Hershey kisses for the two boys' hockey teams.  I picked up two bags - the caramel and milk chocolate ones - read the labels, and then picked up what I thought were two more of the same bags.

We had the Christmas party that night, got home late, and had an early hockey game the next morning.  After the game I handed out the Hershey kisses.

My son said, "What's in the middle of this, mom?"

It was an almond.

I was freaking out as much as you can in a dressing room in a hockey arena, surrounded by kids and parents.

I could not believe what I had just done!  After all the labels I have read, the kinds of food I have checked, the things I have gone through! I prided myself on the fact that I could read labels upside down and in different languages.  Yet I had HANDED him a nut.  It was unbelievable.  He had never had an almond in his life.

The fact is, what he is really allergic to are cashews and pistachios.  But initially we were told to avoid all tree nuts.  And I still do, in case of cross-contamination.  Still, did I mention he had never eaten an almond in his life before?

After apologizing profusely to my son, and simultaneously checking off in my mind that I had two Epi-Pens in my purse, I asked him how he felt.

He said he felt fine, and he looked fine.  However, I know that allergic reactions can take up to two hours, so I basically stuck to him like glue for the next two hours. 

I was a real nuisance.  He would be trying to talk to his friends at the arena, and I would be hovering nearby, lifting up his tuque to see if his ears were swollen.  I kept staring at him in case he broke out in hives.

Luckily he was fine, and didn't seem to have an iota of a reaction.

The whole episode took years off my life.  Years.  Every time I talk about it, I get all stressed out all over again.  It's exhausting. I've got to go lie down.  (After I double-check more labels!)