Three Year Old Rationality

Of course as a mother I think all my children are pretty great.  However, no one is perfect.  And we all know that children go through stages that can - how can I put this in a nice way - drive parents crazy. 

My daughter is three and a half.  She has started to get into some of the fun things that go with being three.  Like being completely unreasonable. 

One day she'll ask me to help her take off her coat, so I do.  The next day I will automatically unzip her coat, and she will totally freak out, because SHE wanted to unzip it.  And it's not enough to zip it back up for her; no.  That's not good enough.  The damage has been done.  You had the audacity to unzip her coat, darn it, and you are going to pay.

She is also in that stage where she thinks any kind of bump or bruise can only be healed with a band aid, even if there is no obvious blood.  Or even any mark at all.  We have princess band aids and Star Wars band aids.  We have all different shapes and colours of band aids.  What I want to know is if they come in 'overreaction'?

I think it sums it all up by her statement to me the other day.  She said she wanted princess pasta for lunch, so I was about to get it out of the cupboard.  Then she yelled, "No, Mama!  I want to do it ALL BY MYSELF!"  I stopped reaching for the pasta and waited. 

She looked up at the pasta, which she couldn't reach.  She paused and then said thoughtfully, "I want to do it ALL BY MYSELF, but first... I need your help."

 

Muppet Movie - The Rainbow Connection

Missing: Memory

This morning I drove off to do the school run, leaving my daughter's purple and green Tinkerbell suitcase in the driveway.  I didn't even notice.  I wouldn't have noticed, either, except that after I had dropped the boys at school and I was driving Ella to her preschool, she asked for a drink and I tried to reach into the suitcase to get her water.  I finally realized I was patting empty air.  It's not like it's inconspicuous, either.  I mean, it's a Tinkerbell suitcase!

It may have been because both side doors of the van froze so I couldn't open either one.  I had to usher all three kids and their baggage through the driver's side door, yelling at them not to get too much snow on my seat, and not to knock over my coffee (which, I'll have you know, I remembered to put INTO the van instead of leaving it on the top and driving off - progress!).  I threw in my big briefcase for work as well.  I guess I missed one little bag.  Three out of four isn't so bad, right?  Although about a month ago I left my work briefcase in the parking lot and just drove off without it too.  I'm very professional, though, honestly.

I swear I didn't do these things before I had kids!  I had a mind.  And it was more or less intact.  And my memory was reliable!  Now my memory is completely shot.  What am I writing about, again?  I feel like my memory has decided to go on a little trip, because it's so overwhelmed with all the many details it has to remember.  It has put out a sign saying, 'back in five years, if things calm down a little around here'.

Soap...or The Difference Between Men and Women

I was just finishing up my shower, and Jerry was sitting on the bathroom counter as we chatted.  I realized that the bar of soap was almost gone, so I said, "We need a new bar of soap in here."

At this point I have to tell you that Jerry was sitting on the cupboard where we keep our soap.  He didn't even have to move to touch the soap.  He was BREATHING on the soap.  He was practically one with the soap.  But I guess I wasn't direct enough.

He looked at me blankly for a long moment, and then stretched and said, "Huh.  Well....I guess I'm going to get something to eat!"  He left the room and went downstairs to the kitchen.

I just stood there, laughing.  You have to laugh, don't you?

I mean, I didn't realize I needed to say, "Listen to me very closely, honey.  You don't even have to move from where you're sitting.  Please reach out your right hand, open the cupboard, and hand me a NEW BAR OF SOAP!  What I'm trying to say is that we need a new one.  The old bar of soap is almost gone; do you understand?  Are you following me?"

Sometimes I think it would be nice to live like a man does, and not have to worry about so many small things....like where the soap fairy lives.

Volkswagen Super Bowl XLV Ad: The Force

Volkswagen: The Making of "The Force" Commercial

Parenting Perspectives

Parenting changes things.  Almost always for the good, of course.  But it is hard work.  My theory is that anything that is worthwhile is hard work.  But sometimes when you're working so hard...something has to go.

I remember the time I had gotten a new hair cut, and I wasn't sure if I liked it.  Finally I asked my husband what he thought of the new hairstyle.  He told me that he had no idea, and that he hadn't even looked at my hair.  There was a moment of silence.

"I got my hair cut TEN DAYS AGO!" I said in disbelief. 

I'm pretty sure he looked at me before we had children, but I'm not positive.

Of course it goes both ways.  I remember the day when our youngest was a baby, and the other two were under the age of 5.  (As I've said before, it was at this time of my life that I felt sure I was engaging in 'extreme parenting'.) 

Anyway, my husband had gone fishing all day, for seven and a half hours, not that I was counting every single minute he was gone or anything.  When he finally came home I bounded across the room and flung my arms around him.  "Thank GOD you're home!" I exclaimed happily.

He looked at me a bit suspiciously.  "Did you miss me for any reason other than childcare?" he asked hopefully.

I thought for a minute, and then shook my head regretfully.  "Sorry, no.  Love you!  Gotta go!"